Thing's I miss...

I have returned to the world of literature. I have been reading. There are things in our lives we neglect whether it's due to time constraints, family demands, waining interest, lack of funds and how many other things. The neglected things are often the things we love the very most and for some reason we prioritize them right out of our lives. I have no clear explanation for it. They just go away. In the next few paragraphs I am going to list, analyze and renew my desire to re-aquaint myself with the things I miss most in my life. I won't take away from the things I love at present such as my wife, my daughters, my dogs, the horse, our four goats, Lulu the pig, and two cats. They will always remain at the top of my list but all the items lined up below them are really needing a re-prioritizing. I'm also not attempting to do that in this post. This is the start of the process, the developement of the list. So...
I miss my relationship with the Almighty. Each of us has a place we belong in his creation. I am stuck knowing He is the only one capable of knowing my heart. His ways are higher than my ways, His thoughts are higher than my thoughts yet he distinctly and deeply cares for me. I miss my walk with him. He never left me, I let my dependance on him drift into the land of lala. This relationship I declare to renew, a prodigal returns.
I miss friends. I have people from my past I have let down. I really put value in knowing them but somewhere along the journey I let that value slip and the friends attached to it drifted away. It's like finding a perfect swimming hole in a river. You don't put the canoe to shore, you don't prepare to swim, you sink the paddle for a depth check dump the paddle in the boat and bail out into the crisp, clear water presented in the perfect place. While you enjoy this place you are still drifting as is your means of transportation. Before long you find that the current has moved you far enough downstream that the perfect place has disappeared. It was just there but now it's gone. As the current moves it becomes easier to go with the current rather than fight to return to the place you enjoyed the most. Friends are like the perfect swimming hole. In my years I have found relationships to be difficult to maintain if I don't resist the currents of life. A job takes you away from the ideal place. Relationships flow like the currents, some are so strong the ideal place is not so ideal without adding new relationships. I have an urgency to revisit my perfect swimming hole. I apologize for names being used or not used but you'll know who you are names or not. Glen it's been worth fighting the current since 8th grade, thank you. To Chuck from the west end of 68th street in Turley, we threw footballs, baseballs, played basketball, explored creeks, played kick the can soccer and so much more every day for quite a few years. I'm swimming upstream and won't drift so far again. Mel you inspire me, I have missed your input and as with Chuck I'm swimming upstream to find a perfect swimming hole. Uncle, I have neglected you and am sorry. You were my hero. Soaring cape and all. The perfect swimming hole always had Grandpa, you and Pat in it. All the crazy things were the greatest times of my life, the pear fights, threatening to push us off the garage if we didn't jump because we followed you up there but at the same time making sure we knew the right way to land so we wouldn't get hurt (not too bad anyway). bicycling to the bottom of the rio grand gorge. hitching a ride on a pontoon on greenleaf lake because it was getting dark and neither of us wanted to spend the night in a field of poison ivy. Chasing a black bear down a trail in the Kiamichee mountains. Jumping out of a tree on the Guadalupe River and acting like it wasn't even cold. So much more, all contributing to the person I am today, I love my family and you are a huge part of it.
If I have not mentioned anyone here don't feel jilted I'm swimming pretty hard I'll get there.
I miss fly fishing. I was never a purist. I wore jeans and t-shirts, put my fish on a stringer, carried my fly box in my back pocket and sometimes wore hip waders. It was nothing to crawl on the ground to sneak up on a pocket that might hold a trout. Many times standing on a rock along the shore of Ft Gibson catching perch was as good as it gets. I miss the stillness. My uncle had a way of finding really cool out of the way places to cast a fly. For years we spent one or two weeks a year roaming the vistas and valleys of New Mexico chasing trout. I used to carry a fly rod when I was driving trucks. I would park on the side of the road in Montana or Wyoming spend a couple of hours dropping a fly in the Yellowstone river or any number of creeks or rivers in the northwest. It always meant driving a little longer that night but it was astounding. Look out trout I'm headed your way.
I miss helping at my buddies blacksmith shop. I took an office job about 7 years ago with the condition I would work four days a week ten hours a day. Fridays I commited to a childhood dream. I have always wanted to be a blacksmith. Anvils, hammers, tongs, punches and chisels, the smell of the coal forge hungry for oxygen. Putting a piece of iron in the forge, heating to a transformation temperature, placing it on the anvil and molding it into a tool or a gate or a fireplace grate or making a dragons head or so many other things. Mr. Dyer I am trying to get my Fridays back.
As the length of this post grows I have a desire to present a summary of my thoughts and close.
There are a lot of times life is meant to be driven like a car. The windshield is huge and holds so many unkowns in front of us. The rear view mirror is so small the things behind us don't really remain. It's a pretty good analogy but sometimes it's not the right one to follow. Sometimes the places we've been and the people we've known deserve a return visit. In my case not so much for them but for me. I miss them. I can't explain why I let them go but I still eat breath think and have the ability to change my direction. It seems crazy to continuously be moving forward because it requires us to leave things behind, important things. Things that deserve better.
Swimming upstream is an extreme workout but worth every effort in my opinion.
Happy hunting for your perfect swimming hole!