Not sure why I'm posting with such frequency but I think I'm working through some thoughts. How many times have you had to search for the reason you are pressed to do something and don't really see why? Maybe it's never been that way for you, maybe you always do what needs to be done or you do what you want to do without any hesitation. I cannot say which way is best because we all are so different. I spend a lot of time in my head. I'm always sorting through my thoughts and ideas and actually would like to find a switch to turn off my thoughts for a while. Just shut down and rest. Then other times, maybe like now, I get bored but can't decide what I want to do. Part of the challenge is whatever I do needs to appeal to me. It seems I spend a lot more time alone than I ever have (except when I drove trucks). I just lost my train of thought so I'll chase a squirrel for a minute...
Squirrel: I really enjoyed driving. It's the perfect job for introverts. You spend most of your time alone, you eat alone, you sleep alone, you work alone, etc. Sounds hard for some folks but it was a great place to be. I could analyze all my ideas. I could let my dreams run for hours without interruption aside from the duties of being a responsible and courteous driver. If you got tired you could find a place to park safely crawl in the bunk pull the curtains shut and take a nap. You could eat when you wanted. If there was something close to your location you wanted to see you may have to be creative to get there but you could do or see just about anything you wanted. There a lot of places you can't pull a rig in such as national parks and monuments. I was usually able to find parking nearby and walk to just about anything I wanted to see. If I was going to be in an area for a few days or weeks I would rent a car and go sightseeing in the evenings or over the weekend.Would I do it again? Probably not as long as it's in my control. I've grown to enjoy being in one place. I have the opportunity to eat lunch with my daughter every day. I am pleased to be greeted by the dogs when I get home. I like being able to go out to the garage or the blacksmith shop whenever I want and enjoy where I am.
I feel like we go through seasons. I still want to wander. I want to go to the mountains and fly fish or backpack. I want to go to the beach and see if I can improve my very weak surfing skills. I want to visit museums, galleries, festivals, etc. I have an itch to get back on the Harley and go for a wander. You'll notice none of that includes the obligation of working a routine schedule. There's a van for sale in North Dakota (Thanks Glen, it's stuck in my mind) that would work out great for a travel season. It would need a good deal of renovation but as noted in earlier posts I see the thing finished when it hasn't been touched yet. We'll see how that plays out.
This is a morning ramble for me. Julia Cameron recommends a writing exercise she calls morning pages which is something I don't practice daily but when I do I absolutely feel great for the day. I'd explain it but I'd get it not quite right so look it up. She has some great books on writing and does seminars. A girl at the bookstore recommended two books one day when I was indecisive about my reading choices. I purchased both and I am very pleased to have met her and followed through with her recommendations. One was "The Sound of Paper" by Julia Cameron, fantastic book. The other was "The Artist Soul - Crafting your Life into a Work of Art" by Erwin Ralph McManus. I have read another of his books years ago which was a very good read for me, that book was "Uprising:A Revolution of the Soul", another great book. I am thinking about putting in a link to amazon with a page of books I read and liked and maybe some I didn't. I don't know how to do it but I'll do some research and see if I can figure it out. Stay tuned... lol.
It's cold in here. It was in the forties here but is now 54. Doesn't sound cold but I turned the heat off a couple of weeks ago and closed the valve on the propane tank. I think not turning it back on is my way of hoping the warmth of spring will return soon. So I'm cold. Might be the lack of socks. I did put on a long sleeve t-shirt which helped, the short sleeve one just wasn't doing it. Should've gone camping. perfect weather for a camp fire and a great nights rest in a comfy sleeping bag. Maybe I can make that happen tonight. I need to take a four day weekend and go to North Dakota for a visit. That would be good Harley ride although it would be a stretch to do in four days since I don't care for 13 hour days on it.
A while back someone told me "don't over analyze this.." I wish it was that easy. The person that told me that does it too or she wouldn't have said it. It was a good thing to say. It makes me smile to think about that statement. There are times when over analyzing is a curse. There are more times when it allows my mind to enter a place of magnificent possibilities. It was during an event for Art class and there were several conversations that opened the door for some conversations that stayed at mid level but they could have really gone into the depths of my mind and that is always an opportunity for discovery. The topic of puzzle pieces is one that I can't shake loose. I look at everything and try to see what type of puzzle or how many pieces it takes to make up whatever I'm considering. It can be an inanimate object or it can be a person. That conversation has given me an opportunity to consider the complexity of people. Maybe I can explain it some day but I don't feel like I can put it in perspective with adequate emphasis right now. Thank you. Great playlist on Spotify. 2019.
Oh well. It's time to start my day. I'm taking my girls and my mom to lunch today. Should be fun. Mom sends me a lot of watercolor artist you tube videos to view and every once in a while slips one in our our Scottish beginnings (mixed with some Irish) which I enjoy watching. Some of the guys doing watercolor and acrylics are amazing artists. One I really enjoy is "the mind of watercolor". Anyway there's another random thought.
Have a great day.
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