The Loneliest Place to be....

Can be where you are at this moment...
Have you ever stood in  a room full of people and felt completely alone? Consider this, to love and lose is greater than never having loved at all. True statement or not? I am really asking this question because I sit here this evening in my own house engulfed in loneliness. You may scoff or call me crazy but it is the feeling most dominant for me at this moment.
How do we conquer the feelings we don't like? Some people binge eat, smoke, drink, and any other number of vices that ease the burden of loneliness. Some of us spend money. Others fall back on old friends and search for a rare moment of contact with someone from our past that may offer words of solace or guidance. Often a change of scenery may resolve the problem. Sometimes nothing eases the strife. I typically would jump to developing a relationship with God as being the answer and it is the best answer but some people refuse to pursue the relationship required for whatever reason. I tend to wrap myself in work or a hobby and quite often a book or a movie. I also wrap myself in the love of my Savior.
I seem to be torn between spiritual and physical loneliness trying to seperate the two but maybe I shouldn't. I pose this because it seems to be happening quite often. The best beginning to an end is to locate the source of the problem. Several things come to mind. Is being lonely the problem or am I missing an opportunity to deal with some things that only I can deal with? Is the loneliness I'm experiencing based on a lack of people in the house at this time or is it a deeper loneliness? In other words is it circumstantial or is it more complex? It appears depression is often diagnosed and loneliness is simply a side affect of depression but I would propose loneliness can be the root of depression. So if I was depressed I would need to find the root source of the depression so I could eliminate it and recognize when it was trying to bring itself to maturity in the future. I am starting to discover the multitude of feeders at the heart of loneliness. Maybe I feel like I am unloved or maybe I feel like I am unworthy. Either of these feeling make me want to withdraw from people and scowl at the questioning gaze of humanity. I would also propose That I can put on a front to make everyone around think all is well while the core of my position is one similar to standing in the desert alone. So there are many occasions when the loneliest place is where I am. I can stand in a room full of people and be completely alone. I can be sitting in rush hour traffic surrounded by other solitary commuters and be completely alone. I can be sitting at the dinner table surrounded by people who profess their unconditional love for me and be completely alone. So what is the root of loneliness? Is it the feeling of overwhelming situations that appear to be out of my control? Is it based on bad choices made in other circumstances that I am realizing the error of those choices? Is it having morals and standards that will not allow me to participate in the activities presently surrounding me? Loneliness can be a perplexing thing to deal with. I would also propose not all loneliness is bad. Sometimes being alone can help us get our thoughts together. Being alone can also heighten our awareness of God and His presence in our lives. Loneliness also allows us to reflect on situations behind, at present, and forward facing us. Loneliness can help us formulate an attitude of accomplishment, success, strength, and self sufficiency. What is the resolution to the position of loneliness and is it always necessary to combat it or are there times it needs to be embraced to help us develop a more intense awareness of who we are?
To facilitate the way I handle loneliness I think it would be best to let someone close to me know what I am experiencing. Not so much for help but more so to establish a marker that says I don't want to get lost as I explore what I am experiencing. Basically I want someone close to me to keep an eye on me with the idea that their watching is a lifeline to bring me back when I appear to be getting lost. If we never explore our inner beings how can we know what our capabilities, strengths, and weaknesses are and how can we learn to combat the darker areas of our lives that can be dangerous to our purposes and futures? If I decide to dwell in loneliness I want to know I have a lifeline that is interested in loving me and keeping me grounded in the good things of life and a lifeline that is intent on keeping me safe and of sound mind. If the lifeline doesn't exist then help must be found.
I guess it would be like jumping off a boat in the middle of the ocean without a lifejacket and not letting anyone know.
As I contemplate this I am led to the thought that there is another name associated with loneliness, meaning the type of loneliness that allows me to consider where I am. I would call it meditation. Strange thoughts on a Sunday evening.
Be assured if you are reading this I am not depressed or experiencing dangerous loneliness. I am simply expressing my thoughts regarding a time in my past when I could stand in a room full of people I know and feel like the loneliest person in the world.

I would urge anyone reading this to make sure you have a lifeline if you ever start feeling lonely regardless of the circumstances. A lifeline doesn't need any details and they don't need to interject their opinion regarding your situation or feelings. Your lifeline simply needs to watch you. They need to look for indicators that question the safety or you and others in your proximity. If you can't connect with a lifeline please get help. Take no chances. Have faith in Jesus and pursue God with all you have, then simply meditate.