I'm sitting at the dining room table. I hate being bored. Especially when I have so many things I could be doing. Maybe a quick write here will fix me.
I've been taking guitar lessons for a while. One of the discoveries during this process has been the exposure of some issues I couldn't put my finger on. I practice at home a lot. Usually after everyone has gone to bed and I keep the volume turned low so I don't disturb them. My practice at home usually goes really well. It's productive and I work on problem areas and eventually I get better. Here's the issue, I go to my lesson and cannot play to save my life. I would say if I make a mistake, but I'll change if to when because I will make a mistake. The mistake is the trigger. Once I mess up I tense up. Once I tense up everything starts going wrong. I focus on why I made the mistake instead of getting past the mistake and just keep going. I miss chords, I miss the strings with the pick, my shoulders tense up and the next thing I know I'm lost. What a mess. My instructor is absolutely great. We have discussions or he has a discussion and I listen. He is intent that I get past the mistake and focus on what's ahead of me not behind me. There's a lot of wisdom in that. It takes implementation to make it work. Have I figured it out? Not at all. I'm trying though. I went out of town for work and missed a lesson and couldn't practice for quite a few days. When I went to my next lesson I was bit dreadful of disappointing Mr. Gordon because I hadn't practiced but a crazy thing happened. I actually played well enough he kept telling me we've made a major breakthrough. I had to relax so I began telling myself early in the day my performance in the evening wouldn't matter because I had not practiced for a couple of weeks so it doesn't matter just go. Go play what he asks. Talk about the path forward, go home. I went in knowing I was going to perform poorly so I lowered my expectations and when I messed up I was already past the disappointment so it didn't get in my head and cause the tension monster to begin consuming me. I actually played like I was at home with no audience and it went great. What's the point of all this? I don't know, I'm still sorting through it all but I found a glimmer of hope. We'll just keep going, I really want to get this right and play well. Can't answer the why of that either but it's something I want to do. I could share a lot more about how guitar lessons have opened the psyche of my inner workings but that would fill a book and a lot of it I don't want to put on the open market. I'm having a good time and look at it as a journey of discovery.
That was part one. Here comes part two. I think I already wrote about all of this but it's still part of my life. I finished Fundamentals of Art I at our local community college. I really enjoyed the experience. So much so that I have enrolled in Fundamentals of Art II and have intentions of following up with Sculpting, Drawing, Metal crafts, and whatever else I feel like pursuing. By the way I received an A for my effort received some productive criticism, met some interesting and very nice people. Another journey of discovery.
Through all of this I have become a you tube junkie. I watch a lot of videos about subjects that interest me. I watch a lot of music instructional and song videos. I like watching the guitar people display their phenomenal skills and then share what they feel or think about what they've played or how their lives have turned out. I could produce a huge list but my favorites so far are BB King, Eric Clapton, Mark Knopfler, John Prine, Merle Haggard, Chet Atkins, Sheryl Crow, Norah Jones and a whole bunch of others. I also have been watching old concerts of Crosby, Stills and Nash with Neil Young when he was playing with them, James Taylor, Willie Nelson, Joe Bonamassa, CCR, and Dire Straights.
Not to change the topic but all of the previous paragraphs happens mostly at night as I have obligations to home and projects during the daylight and yes I still work 4-5 days a week.
I feel like I'm searching where I fit as I get older. I want to go camping, canoeing and hiking so somewhere I'll fit that in too. Life is a journey and I'm tired of sitting so I'm moving.
Hope you find inspiration or can offer words of wisdom or at least take a moment to try and find the dreams you left behind and figure out how to pick them up and explore them soon.
Take a minute and think about something you used to do a long time ago that you wanted to be really good at or something you wanted to experience but just couldn't see a way to make it happen. I would even suggest you write it down. I also suggest you begin a journal and start thinking about the dream you laid down. Write every thought or idea down so you don't lose the thoughts you are revisiting. Take an inventory of who you are right now. Are you content? Are you happy? Do you have any goals? Are you content with your accomplishments? Have you mastered a craft or skill that you always wanted to be accomplished in? Write down where you are. Begin entertaining thoughts and ideas to set a course to accomplish what you write down. The key to this is not to get to the goal, and yes I hope you do, but I think it's so important that we learn to live for the journey that the journey ends up being our story. The story we write. You aren't a slave or no one can claim ownership of you. You may have a job or you may have to have a job but your job has parameters that you control. If you take control of your time and you dictate your accomplishments outside the time allocated for your job you'll find you have the capacity to do just about anything you set your sights on. Here is a bit of advice if you'll accept it. If you want to discover Gold start small. Take a four day weekend, go to South Dakota. Take a route that requires two lane travel. Take your time and look at America. Find a thread of discovery that inspires you. Buy Peanut Butter, Jelly, a loaf of bread, and whatever you like to drink. Simplify. Find a stream to camp near. take a shovel or a spade, go to a local flea market and look for a gold panning pan for a buck or two. A lawn chair is nice but not a necessity. Scrounge up some firewood. Learn to make a fire using matches. Relax. Listen to the birds. Look at the stars. Stare at the clouds. Stand in the creek. take a scoop of creek bottom and dump it in your pan. Learn to swirl the water in the pan and see how the rocks and dirt begin to separate. Watch a you tube video if you can't figure it out. Learn to discern the difference between fool's gold and real gold. Have fun. If you find some great if you don't great. Think about what you have spent the weekend doing. How do you feel? I use gold panning as the example but it can be anything that you choose to pursue. Learn to enjoy the details of getting where you think you want to be and you might be surprised at what you discover. I dare you to try it. By the way you can find gold in a lot of states and sometimes gold is something as simple as the view.... you know what I mean. Let me know how it goes, I'm interested in how you write the rest of your story.
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